In a couple of hours, this 2015 will end, and a new one begins. The night is deep, and all around are the noisy fireworks (and maybe gunfire???) around. I do hate fireworks, it’s noisy, noisy, and noisy. It makes me jump. It’s also dangerous. Oh it’s fun to look at, if it’s really far from you but it’s not fun when it’s just right there.
I plan to make this short. Just a bit of reflection to end this year. And I am so thankful, that this awful year is ending and it only has a couple of hours left.
Some things to note for this year:
- I have finally accepted the fact that I don’t belong. No matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I work at it, I no longer belong. I might have a few years back, but not this time. And so, I have taken the steps to move on.
- I realized this year, that no matter how hard a person tries, patience will break at some point. There is an end to everything, but then when one ends, a new one begins. There are limits, and I am done. No more.
- I also learned that life always throws something at you, good or bad. In my case, it has mostly been the latter. However, I think it’s not too bad,because of these, I have learned a lot, and I am stronger.
- This is the year that I learned to say with finality and with conviction, I will take my life back. I need my own life back. No more giving of my life to my job and to other things that might be important, I will take back my happiness and will take back the real me that I know myself to be.
- I know that we can’t please everybody, so I will please only those who matter most to me, and I know that they know what and who they are.
- I haven’t felt so low in everything especially these past 2 years, culminating in a decision that I have made on a milestone of my life. At this point, I finally knew it was the end of something that I have loved for quite a while, that I have been passionate about, but it’s time to move on. It’s hard to stay and believe in something, alone, when no one around you even believes it anymore. It’s a depressing feeling, being underestimated, and even being discriminated against because… well, the only reason I could think of is because I’m sick. So it’s time to stop. Stop allowing people to do this to me.
- The past couple of years have been rough, and it’s my fault. It was my decisions, my choices. And now, I have made another choice. I don’t regret my choices before, though. Just to be clear.
My being still here has a reason, as everything has a reason. I am not sure of what is in store for me this coming year, but I know one thing, and I declare one thing, it’s going to be a lot better than 2015.
Happy New Year! Have a blessed and fruitful one!
…Let’s begin, 2016…