… Alive

Ok, so I’m late by 3-4 days on my prompts in Writing 101. Got too busy with work that I didn’t have time to even check my personal mails. But here I am. I promised myself that I will finish this course, one way or another.

Day 3 prompt was to Write about the three most important songs in your life — what do they mean to you?

Hmm. Where do I start?

I have 2 favorite artists – well more than 2 but then when I thought about the three most important songs in my life, I can’t even think. There were 4-5 songs in my mind but that’s more than 3, so I thought, should I just write it down? It would be a bonus. Fine, I’ll write about the top 3, then maybe add the other 2 as bonus. (or I’ll just write about the five, in no particular order of preference but the order in my mind)

I was browsing through the songs that I have in my mind, and I realized the songs I have chosen are not just from my two favorite artists (Mariah Carey and Christian Bautista).

Curious now on what those songs are, are you? Won’t keep you waiting then. Lyrics are linked as well. I am more of a lyrics person so…

A Personal Touch – David Pomeranz

This is quite an old song, I heard of this one when I bought David Pomeranz’ Born For You album. He visited my hometown, and yes, I was able to meet him in person (Yey!), and I was just (hmm…) in high school, I think? I usually listen to the whole album once I buy it, and this is the same thing that I did when I got home. I listened to all the songs in that album. There were a lot of known songs in that album, there was of course Born For You, Got to believe in Magic, King and Queen of Hearts. However, what caught my attention was the fifth song in that album. A Personal Touch.

As a young kid then, I had in mind that when I grow up, I can give that personal touch to whoever I will love. A friend, a lover, my parents, my kids. Whatever happens, I will be there for them, to give them a hug, to kiss them good night, to ease their pain. It’s just sad though that when I did grow up, I realized I was there for them, but it seems no one is there for me like that. I realized that no matter how much you try to be there for someone, you prioritize them, in the end, it would still be their priorities that will matter. Unfortunately, if you are not a priority in their life, well, don’t expect even a “thank you”, or even a smile. Some would even say that I am wrong. It shouldn’t be that way. Well, we have different definitions and execution of love and friendship in life. This is partly mine.

As time passed by, I grew older. The year 2001 was a milestone. I got sick. Something that would stick with me until the end of my life. Let’s be honest, there’s no cure only control. But I have to live so I need to step up, be strong, be me. A lot of songs came passing by in my life. Some I just didn’t notice. Some stuck. Some changed my life, some defined it. It changed me. The sickness. I’m not sure if it’s for the better (hopefully, it was). The songs helped me. During these times, there were a lot of changes in the people too. There were a lot of pity, of lost hope, of sadness. There were a lot of prejudices because of my sickness. A lot of judgement, even with just a look. But even with those, I know that…

Can’t Take That Away – Mariah Carey

They can’t take away being me, if I don’t allow them. No matter people might say, might do. I am me. No matter how many times they would try to bring me down, I wouldn’t allow them to push me down.

In trying to be me, in trying to be strong, I understand that I somehow changed. My outlook in life changed. I became more realistic, not idealistic. I centered in what is now, what is practical, what is logical. I can’t feelings and emotions rule and dictate my life. If that was the case, I might not be able to continue. I just might break down. This could be a real reason why I’m labelled as heartless at times. This is the reason that I am sometimes (or most of the time?) a …

Bitch – Meredith Brooks

Honestly, I might really be one. But then again, it’s how you see me. I just don’t really care that much anymore of what people think (except for those that are important to me).

This assignment is quite getting long, I have answered the prompt. Three (3) songs to list down that are somehow important to me. But as I said, I might add some more to the list just to finish this train of thought.

A lot has happened in my life. Sometimes, most of the time, I think that God (or whatever the religion might call their Higher Power) is testing me. I have always read and heard that God doesn’t give us experiences and situations in life that He knows we can’t survive. Everything He does and provides has a reason. I have less happy moments or positive moments in life, especially recently. The depression and low points in my life overwhelms what could be the happy ones. I sometimes fear that when I laugh too much in a day, or if I’m happy at this point, reality seeps in and I would have to be prepared that the situation will worsen soon. It became a sign for me, that if I am happy, something would happen to change it. Depressing, right? So I just try to remember, God is just testing me. He is trying to…

Break Me – Gary Valenciano

“…I’ve been too proud
And now I don’t know where to go
And like the son who came back home
I’m giving you my life
My mind, my heart, my soul
I’m trusting you enough to break me
Then to make me whole..”

No matter what happens and no matter how many times I’m broken (I am not sure if I’m whole again, of if I will ever be), I still long for love. I still long for acceptance. For being me. Not because of what you might like me to be, what you want me to be, what you need me to be. Take me, accept me, love me…

For Everything I Am – Christian Bautista

And to wrap things up. One final thing I need to say. For now, I am just thankful. Thankful, grateful, that I am… and still am…

Alive – Jennifer Lopez


2 thoughts on “… Alive

  1. Wow this was very honest and refreshing. I am keen to listen to these songs, as they seem touch on a lot of issues about strength and rising up from what you have described. I do agree with you in regards to the fact that God tests us all, so stay strong, and eventually there will come a time when you can look back and feel really good about how far you have come.

    1. Thank you 🙂
      Gary V and Christian Bautista are local artists but they have very nice songs. Hehe. I noticed that I seem to like not so popular songs by the artists.

      Hope you can listen to the songs 🙂 and tell me what you think too.

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