trapped

in the midst of all the pain,
in the midst of all the tears,
in the midst of all the love lost,
i try to smile to show im ok

in the midst of failure,
in the midst of all the darkness inside,
in the midst of all hopelessness,
i try to smile to find the light.

in the midst of disbelief,
in the midst of weariness,
in the midst of thinking of giving up,
i try to smile…

i try to smile,
and im making the choice of being happy,
my mind is telling me this,
but my heart feels its wrong.

the smile i have is my only shield
the smile i have is my only armor.
armor from the depression surrounding me
enclosing me… drowning me.

i do not know if it works though,
coz i can feel the armor crack.
i can feel hopelessness
seeping through.

I smile but deep down, tears are falling
I laugh but when i hear it, it sounds untrue…
I choose to be happy,
but then again,its meaning i’m yet to grasp.

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